Sometimes in order to feel better you just need to cry.
Lately I have been feeling like the world has been crashing down on top of me. I feel guilty for working all the time and lacking on other stuff but I feel guilty if I take a day off and try to catch up on the work I’ve put off. I’m sure some of you can relate; it’s a never ending cycle of feeling bad.
I’ve felt bad about my weight and how I look. I’ve felt bad about the ways I’ve been eating. I’ve felt bad about the lack of motivation I have towards school. I’ve felt bad about just about every aspect of my life. It’s even come to the point where I feel bad about other people and take on their problems like it’s my own.
The other night I sat in my car under a street lamp in the school parking lot bawling for an hour. I just needed to cry and get it off my chest because almost immediately after I was done I wiped my soaked cheeks, started the car, and drove like nothing else happened. That’s when it finally dawned on me, don’t ask me why it took me 21 years to realize this, BUT if you don’t talk about it, it’ll never get better.
I have always been the type of person to take on other people’s problems as my own. I’ve also always been the type of person to hold in my own problems because I don’t want to be a burden to other people. I’m also positive that there is someone who is reading this that also is the same type of person.
So whether it’s one person or one thousand people that relate, let me give some advice.
People want to hear about your problems. It sounds crazy but people want to hear what’s happening in your life; the good and the bad. Sometimes people want that power of giving advice to you. They want to be able to hear what you’re dealing with. They want to know that you need help and that they can be there for you.
Showing your emotions is normal. I like to keep my emotions to myself because I’ve always thought it was a sign of weakness. Showing them is a sign of strength. Everyone has emotions, bad days, times where they do nothing but cry. EVERYONE. Showing that you can make it through the worst days just like you can make it through other days shows that you are capable of handling yourself. No matter how strong you thing someone is, chances are they were also crying the other day because they didn’t feel good about themselves.
You aren’t a burden to other people. It might be hard to see that but I can promise you, you confiding in someone does not make you a burden. It goes back to people wanting to hear your problems. People want to know what is happening, they care about you and love you. If you were actually a burden to them, you wouldn’t want them in your life to begin with.
If you don’t talk about it, you can’t heal. Talking about how awful your life has been lately or how bad you’re feeling isn’t always easy. You might not know where to start, where to go, or how to finally stop talking once the words begin. I get it. I’ve been there. In order to heal and start to see a clearer, brighter path you have to get it off your chest. It’s hard but I can also promise you that once you talk about it you will start to feel better.
Take it one day at a time. Happiness or a brighter path might not come right away but it will come. Not very often do I cry and immediately feel as if everything is behind me. I cry then realize that eventually it will get better and I can now see more ways of making my life better. You have to understand that too. Don’t take one giant leap, start with a few small steps and see how you feel.
It takes some work. It would be a miracle if all of our problems went away every time we shed a tear. You have to put in the work to change your life and make it the way you want it to be.
You will be okay. You will be okay. I can’t repeat it enough. Life is fucking hard. It will knock you down 100 times and then some but you have to be willing to stand up and push past it if you want to live in the life you’ve always wished.
To anyone else struggling; it’ll be okay. We can do it together. I’ll always be here to listen to your problems.